Reflections of living with an alcoholic & addict.
A journey to healing, peace and forgiveness.
I hate to feel that this man still has any type of hold on me. We divorced in 2021 after separating in 2020. As I sit here wrestling with feelings of shame, regret, anger and utter resentment I realize that the saying “Till death do us part” is still applicable even after divorce when you…
The living room paneling reflected a small glow of light from the tiny black and white TV in the trailer. I focused on that light darting as it traveled on the walls; sometimes brighter and then dark as night. The movie “JAWS” played on that foil bunny eared TV. Out of nowhere I hear a…
A nauseating sweet smell crept up my nose as I opened my eyes to the darkness that surrounded me. What the HELL just happened? My mind raced to come to grips with the direction of the road to the right side of the Bronco II. How did I come to be facing this direction? A…
It’s been an eternity since I posted in this blog. I could think of many excuses; validation of reasons why I haven’t dedicated a few moments to creating in this space. It would all be complete bullshit. As my Alcoholic Father used to say; “You can’t bullshit a bullshitter!” I won’t attempt to either. As…
As I lay waste to this day; I wonder will I ever feel “good enough”? I’m sure people that know me would question my sanity when they read that first sentence. I work as a Project Manager in the Construction industry. I work long days, consume myself with every detail of the project, create scenarios…
“If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative! Know when to close the account. ~Christie williams~ Definition: “One that gives.” Okay, that makes sense, right? How about the definition of “Give”… yep… this is more like it. Merriam Webster is…
“The Angel’s Share” https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/the-finest-words-for-drinking/angels-share Definition: : an amount of an alcoholic drink (such as cognac, brandy, or whiskey) that is lost to evaporation when the liquid is being aged in porous oak barrels. As I pondered over the idea of writing this blog; I debated what I would call it. For some reason the liquor…
Sometimes it creeps up on me when I least expect it; an overwhelming rage, anger, fear, resentment and sadness. The memory of that night; a scar that will never heal; the “Devil’s Cut”. The coarse corn stalks digging in my back; the smell of moist dirt and dampness of the night air. I look up…
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An Angel's Share and The Devil's Cut 